Life Made Complicated

Hello All,

Jobs these days has become a taboo. Pressure is more and involvement is less. There is an imbalance of work-life. Here is a short story depicting the very idea. Read on...

The sun trying to rush its way down as the day ends peacefully. Dr. Raha closes her eyes for a while before seeing her next patient. Her counseling job has given her a chance to help people and relieve their pain. But with fame comes work load. And now she misses her going early to house,being with her two kids as they get their homework done. Her round-fair face was calm and absorbed in deep thoughts and her palm was on table. The door creaked and her perfectly dressed secretary came in with a file. Raha opened her eyes as her secretary placed the file on the table next to her hands. Her secretary noticed the tired look on Raha's face and asked her if she needs a coffee. Raha nodded yes for coffee and started to investigate the file. This is her new patient, Ankush, who happens to be a software engineer. Engineers these days have replaced computers as to their breathe and workaholic as their only standards of living. They forget to laugh, live and enjoy life and notice that there is a life far stretched beyond office. Raha thought Ankush is another of those software engineers as she opened his file to read. Again her mind drifted to her kids, and she started to wander if they huddled with their Abu and asking for her arrival every now and then. The door creaked again and this time her secretary arrived with the coffee she had asked for. The aroma of the coffee filled her nostrils immediately reminding her of work. Quickly, she surfs through the patients file.

Ankush waits anxiously, waiting to be called. His hands rub against each other in quick movements. Sometimes he taps his feet. Once or twice he felt the secretary watching him. He knew she recognized him as one who took 7 appointments earlier, turned up for a couple or so and went without meeting doc. So he didn't want to make an eye contact with her. He never wanted to come here in first place, but it was because his friend had seen him freak a lot and that person had told him that this is a good place to get counseled. He didn't wanted show the world that he is a mad man. He looks at his watch, which indicates its half past 6 and imagines himself going back to his room and lying with his laptop.

Having read Ankush's file, all she could understand was that he was a software engineer working in some MNC for past 3 years. So he must be in high post and must be day-night-no-noticer concludes Raha. She quickly thinks of the common possible solutions for software engineer, brushes her hair and rings the bell to indicate her secretary to send him in. But when she sees Ankush coming in her conclusions fail. Not only is he physically fit and handsome but he is also very young. She again checks to see his age. Omg! He is still 26, still so young to say he lost hope on life. She greets him with a pleasant smile, "Hello, Ankush". Ankush doesn't utter a word and she didn't expect a reply. On their first meet, most of the patients doesn't say much. It usually take a session or two for them to open up. But Ankush looked at her in the eye, which has not happened in career because they avoid eye contact.

Ankush had almost made up his mind to leave the appointment and go again, when he heard a bell. Then the secretary had gestured him to go inside. Freaking as he was, wondering whether to walk toward exit or inside and face it once and forever. Slowly he made up his mind and acting like brave stepped inside. All he could see when entered was the clean white floor. He had almost reached the chair, when heard the voice, "Hello Ankush". He looked up, and gasped. The doctor was lady, not just a lady, a young lady, a beautiful lady and in total a lady. How come this never occurred to me, how can I ever tell my problem to her, he thought. Waste of time and money, move from here as soon as possible, he thought.

Raha waited patiently for few seconds before continuing. She asked carefully, “I see you are an engineer, Ankush. Is that so?" "Yes", he stammered. "Tell me, Ankush. About your birth place. Where were you born? How were you as a kid? Any idea?" Raha started her usual way. For so long in this career, she knew the most possible solution for depression arises from childhood memories, about how you tried to handle things as a kid. Kids always made it straight forward and never complicated the knots. So when in dilemma, assume you got this problem when you were kid and try to solve it simpler. But then, if world realises this truth, then she would be jobless, because people would never go into depression or even complicate things. She waited for long, before asking again, "Ankush, did you listen to me or shall I repeat myself?". His voice was soft as he spoke again, this time with more stammers, " I don't have anything to say. I can't sleep in night, just prescribe me suitable medicine. And I got to leave. Am getting late ". Of the various case studies that she had got till date, this is the weirdest one. Now her job doesn't allow her to prescribe sleeping pills to someone unless they are very crucial, where putting them to sleep is the remedy for people around them. And moreover, who is he to order to her. She eyed him carefully and said, "I can't prescribe you something so dangerous. But if you wish to not talk it out now, you may come sometime later". Before even Raha uttered the last word, he was already near door rushing off. Raha started at the door, before starting to pack for the day.

Ankush reached his room, still recollecting the conversation between him and doctor. He was sweating profusely as he opened his room door. Once inside and once he switched on the lights, he decided, he would not call her or any other physiatrists again. Relaxed now that he was, he breathed in his foul room smell. He thought to clean up his room over the weekends. He started to think as why would the doctor ask about his childhood life. He went back to his childhood- those school days, when even if he didn't do homework, he would be punished in class but never thrown out of school, those days when he found the smallest of smallest reasons to be happy, those trying to trouble his sister and getting scolding from mom. Childhood days reminded him off his dad. And he was still missing dad, when he was dozing off to sleep. That night, he had the scariest nightmare ever, wherein he was a mice running for his poor life, trying to the escape the doctor in the form of an eagle.

Raha got up for a fresh new day. She usually has a bottle neck schedule in morning. She has to prepare breakfast, make her kids ready for school and prepare lunch boxes for all. Also finding her husband’s little things like wallet or kerchief are some work which would consume her time sometimes. She hurried her routine as always and reached office at 9.30. Her secretary was already at the reception desk smiling her beautiful smile. And her one more patient, Margaret, who had first appointment that day, was also waiting for her. Office always felt calm and settle downed after her hurried routine in the house for Raha. She greeted all present in the office and went to her cabin.  Her desk was cleaned by her secretary, who had kept the last few files of her previous day neatly arranged in the file tray. And there on top of the tray lay Ankush' file, which when she saw, she thought she should give him another appointment. The door creaked again and her secretary brought her Margaret's file and she made her to fix an appointment with Ankush later in evening that day.

Ankush was having his share of normal stressed up day, when he got a call to his mobile. He picked up without even noticing the number was a local landline number, because he kept getting calls, not just from customer but also from some local promotional ads. He confirmed that he was Ankush. He was taken aback to realize the caller. The same counseling centre, he had visited yesterday, have called him to say that he has an appointment at 6 later that evening. He counter argued many times that he has not booked up any appointment. But in vain as the secretary kept arguing that the doctor has asked him to come. He really felt like the rat in his morning's dream again.

Raha was going through the something in social networking site, when her secretary came inside. She informed about reluctance from Ankush's end for the appointment and also told that he had already called them three times to cancel the same. In the end, secretary, with a note of pride told about how she had convinced him and he happens to be waiting outside, just because of her. Raha then asks her secretary to fetch his file and also send him in. It hardly took a minute for her secretary to come back with his file and closely followed by her was Ankush. Ankush looked more pale than yesterday. “Hello again! Ankush”, Raha said as her secretary placed his file on her desk and left. “Hello. Can I get some water?”, was Ankush's reply. Raha handed him a bottle of mineral water and settled down in front of him. Before Raha could speak again, Ankush started to talk. “How can they do this to me? I have been working in this company for past 3 years. They cannot throw me off simply. I have been working day in and day out in the company. I have even worked on weekends whenever needed....”, he was shouting. Raha politely said, “Relax, Ankush. I know your problem. Drink some more water and first relax.” Ankush drank some more water and was quite for long. Raha then continued, “See Ankush, You are so young plus you have so much talent. It is not just You who get thrown off a company. So many other people also do. Some also get depressed like you and come to me. But honestly, you were the youngest of all those software engineers. So imagine, you have such a vast life ahead of you. You can do some much beautiful things in life provided you don't lose hope.” Suddenly Ankush talks again, “Life is small. I know. I have seen it.”

Raha lifts her brows at Ankush and then asks, “At 26, are trying to tell you have lived all your life? Ankush you have just started it. The toughest path leads you to most prized winning ever. But you should lose heart at the start of the path. Should keep going and accepting things as and when they come.” Raha paused for a while waiting him to reveal more about his life that he obviously is hiding. “Anyways, Ankush. I fixed this appointment again today hoping you would want to talk. Yesterday, you seemed sad but you did not talk. And my religion doesn't allow me to take money from you if I couldn't be of any help to you. So, I let you decide if you are comfortable these session, because my secretary told me that you wanted to cancel it in first place. If you decide to not take these sessions, please collect your money back from my secretary, which is my usual policy. But if you still want to talk to me, I can talk and continue this session.” completed Raha.

Ankush had a busy day today. And after the day’s busy work, came the shock of his life. The company hr was trying to talk to him and ask him to leave the company. His life has been completely a mess for past few months. His dad expired just three months back. And the responsibility of his mom and his younger brother came on his head. Losing dad was painful enough to break him and yet he had to be strong. He tried to concentrate on his work but could not. He did not talk to his any friends about it also. His room-mate had noticed that he is having the sleepless nights. He didn't knew if he wanted to talk it all out to an unknown stranger woman. He sat there, trying to analyze his life at a shot, thinking of what to tell to her. He could feel her eyes were on him. Finally he made up his mind. Sitting there in the calm white office of the doctor, he shared his recent life changes with her. He told all about what happened and how he feels about that happening. He talked, talked and talked a lot. But that soothed him. The more he told, more he started to feel relaxed. Without her telling much, he started to get a different perception of his own life.

Raha sat there listening to Ankush. She did not say anything much, because he himself had answers to many questions, he asked. She listened as she wondered, why do people don't accept life as it come? People always build dreams in the air. And people land up being dependent. Why everything we would think in life be dependent on another person or event? Why is it mainly that people forget to re-live after one fall? She even thought that, even she is not answering the why question to herself in her own life. She was floating in her thoughts and had not realized, when Ankush ad stop talking.

Ankush had stopped talking. taking his life situation in his mind, analyzing every detail about it. He hadn't realized that the room had fell silent. Deep in himself, he was startled when he heard doctors voice, “So, Ankush. I understand you have problems. But life is like that. You get day after night. You can't sit and cry over night for that, right?”. Ankush answered, “Yes, I know that. Just that it was difficult for me to cope up.” Then Raha asked, “Don't you have any friends, Ankush?” for which he nodded indicating no. Raha then says, “See Ankush. friends are for this part of our lives to help us. I am surprised you are saying no to friends. Make friends, talk to people.” Ankush says, “Yes indeed. Today, I talked to you first time after all my life events so far and I was really relieved.” Raha nods in agreement and continues, “You see what I mean! You can consider me as one of your friend. Okie, now am telling this sentence though my profession doesn't allow me to do so. But honestly, learning is always from both ends. Considering you are so young, I was left at shock when I realized you wanted a consultant help. Ankush, lot of life is left ahead of you. And remember one thing, which my teacher once told me, hope is that part life without which you cannot get anything. On the contrary, if you have just hope in life, you can achieve anything in life.”

Ankush felt light weighted. He was whistling, when he was stepping out of doctor's cabin. The secretary was surprised about the sudden change in Ankush. She had expected him to take back his previous session money and leave, and here he was happily paying for even today's session. Ankush was joyous about not just speaking out everything, but also about the fact or facts – that he found a new friend in a doctor and that too a lady, that he was no more afraid to give up one job and switch to another where his talent is recognized, that finally overcoming the pain of losing dad seemed easier by starting to live his life.

Please Take Care:-).

Keep Smiling:-).

With loads of love,
Maddy.