Girls's Soul

Hello All,

I am here again with yet another short story. It is said that women are the wonderful beings on earth. She always walks in a mystique way. So, here am I trying to explain the mystery of a woman...

Immersed into her art, she was. She had started the painting some two months back. Her ragged clothes, paint spilled over everywhere and her hairs tied into a loose bun - Sadhna was having the look of painter. As she began painting the stream, her mind drifted to Ujjal. She felt he was as pure as the water. He was a clean chit and very unlikely to her. He never kept any secrets from her. She wondered how he would react to her biggest secret of life.

Even after knowing him for 2 years from now and also constantly dating him for 3 months, she could not make herself to tell him about this truth. She knew he was desperately trying to make his move. He had been calling her out to his place for a while now and she knew she could not hold it for long. Deep down her heart, she felt he was irresistible. She too wanted what he wanted - his arms around her, his warmth all over her and loads more. But with the hearth so heavy, she also knew she couldn't make it anywhere. Also her fears of losing him, when he knows the truth was more empowering than than her decision to confession the matter with him.

Deep in her thoughts,  she didn't hear the door knock. At the second knock, being back t her senses, she went to open the door. Ujjal was at the door, singing a song. He was always cheerful around her. She was scared only of this - whether he would still continue to be as cheerful as this even after knowing her secret?? She made up her mind that she has to reveal the truth today, else the relation might get complicated.

She began in a roundabout manner, even when she knew he doesn't like it thus. "Say it clearly, what's your problem", he always said to her. And yet again today, she knew she started it all wrong. But there is no escaping. She had to face it like she had faced the operation few years back. She had gone through this against all the odds, against the opposing society just for the pain of being alive and yet not being you. The years of childhood spent with the guilt that she is not normal, the confusions of the adolescent age in the love and feelings, all these seemed smaller to her than the fear of losing the love of her life - The fear of losing Ujjal.

But now as she speaking, he was gazing at her intently. She knew him too well to know how he listens carefully to her all the time. Keeping her fears aside, she explains him how she was a guy born. She explains to him, how she realized God had done a serious mistake with her physique when she first fell for a guy in class. And later on confessing this to him not only portrayed her as abnormal by him but also by all in society. She also mentioned that some told her how it was against nature and asked her to stop the shit. She explains how none understood her to be who she really was!! and how because of her, her parents had to shift to Bombay. She also recollects to him about her being with a secretive gay friend who happens to abandon her, when she decides to change her gender permanently. She also mentions about the social complications she had to face after surgery and her staying locked in her room for 6 months. before stepping out as fearless lady that she was now.

She finishes her life story with a tears in the eyes. She looks at him finally and he was all at silent for a while. He then leaves the room without a word. The fear "what would happen if" again re-surfaced in her. He doesn't talk to her for a week after that or doesn't even meet her. He appears after a week at her doorstep and she was already a mess by then thinking about him. But he just smiled and held her face between his palm. "For once I din't accept the fact that You had a sex transform. I had dated many gals before and none were like you. I was having my life plans with you. And I freaked,that my plans won't work this way. I went home and researched all about this sex transform. I called my friends who are doctors or in science field and talked to them about this. Though they told me you are absolutely normal as a girl, I wasn't ready to accept the fact. I also had this fear of society especially my parent accepting,after I accepted you. Yes I ran away from you and tried to forget you for whatever you told me earlier. But I missed you and realized your love more intense than earlier. I loved you and not your  body. I don't have a problem with how you appear as long as you are happy with it. I don't mind if you were born as gal or later became a gal. What I loved is your heart and your soul which was always the same. I always knew You were a mystery and I now understand you completely.", Ujjal said to Sadhna. Not only did she cherish that moment of her life but also celebrated it forever to come...

Please Take care :-)

Keep Smiling :-)

With loads of love,

Maddy.